I haven't posted in a while, I know.

Life has been taking twisted turn after twisted turn lately, so I know that I will begin to rely upon this blog again soon. I've also decided to write, with the help of Jake, OUR story. Our memoir. You can find that here. It will begin to be updated soon but go ahead a bookmark us.

So whats happened in the last 4 months...

We(our crew, my parents, and Uncle J{Aunt G's Hubby}) went to Disney at the end of April, beginning of May. It was a trip I never thought we would be able to take, and probably wouldn't have been if there hadn't been incredible generosity of family and my Aunt G. You see, Aunt G had been talking about taking my kids to WDW for a very long time. It was something she had wanted to do so much. She wanted to see the smiles on their faces, the jaws on the floor, the excitement. It was because we lost her, that we were able to go. And on the first night there, under the fireworks, looking at Cinderella's Castle, I SERIOUSLY lost my shit, people. I grabbed Jake's hat and ducked my head to the ground, hoping the kids wouldn't see. Not only was this a trip we never thought we would be able to take, EVER, Aunt G wasn't there to share it with us. It was a painful joy. But, she was there. It was evident everywhere. The lack of really long lines, the laughter, my kids having the absolute time of their life, she made it all happen(with some help from my amazing parents). It was her trip, lived out by my children.

Princess Grace after her makeover at The Bibbity Bobbity Boutique.
Big T having been chosen to be a part of the show at Hoop-De-Do0 Revue!!! Talk about PROUD parenting moment!

Emily with the always lovely Snow White!

Believe me when I say, we have LOTS of pics that look like this!

I'll be making an online album so that we can share all of these pics. Well, at least the ones that don't have my gut in the way. Got many of those too!!!!

I have several drafts in the works, so I'll try to get off my duff and post again soon! Its so nice to be back in my little blog world!

Oy.

I try to find the time in the day to update here and FACEBOOK SUCKS EVERY FREE MOMENT OF MY LIFE RIGHT UP. I sit here, open up the page to post and then think I might get some inspiration from whatever is going on there, then I immediately lose 2 hours. Poof.

Today though, I'm not feeling to well and I have a TON to update you all on.

MOST importantly, my sister-in-law(Auntie Dan-Dan), niece(LilliPad) and nephew(Mini-Joe) were in a TERRIBLE accident on Friday. They were hit by a drunk driver in NH. It is truly an honest to goodness miracle that they are still with us. Our family has been told by several members of the authorities that they just don't know how they all, for the most part, walked away. Mini-Joe(5 months) doesn't even have a scratch, LilliPad was kept overnight for observation, but Auntie Dan-Dan required surgery to fix a badly broken wrist and cleaning of a nasty gash in her right leg. She is still in the hospital. I REALLY need to thank everyone has was inclined to pray for them all. It IS all of the prayer that has made the difference! Here are some pics, show them to your kids, tell them that is what drinking and driving can do. The man who hit them was intoxicated! We are so grateful for the good samaritans who saved their lives by pulling them from the van when it caught fire.

I have so much more to say and hopefully I can stay off Facebook so I can update on our upcoming vacation and other things!

OH! Before I forget though, today is a holiday in this house! LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER! GO SOX!

Yes, we're alive...

Its been a hectic few weeks around here. I realize that I sort of dropped off the face of the planet, but between our school, work, working out and dieting, and Jake being home unemployed... Well, my time is pretty much all used up. Even well into the wee hours of the day most of the time I am busy. Then its a catch up the next. It never fails.

I have managed though, to find time to get the one thing I have been wanting for some time. A tattoo to honor the women in my life who have/had breast cancer. Keep in mind, its healing and kinda gross.


We had Emily's cardiologist appt today, all GREAT news. Her heart is well. It is her Vagus nerve causing the problem and she'll grow out of it. What a relief!

So, thats a quick catch up. I'll try to post again soon!

So far '09 BLOWS!

Maybe I'm overly dramatic because I haven't had a ciggy in over a month,but I doubt anyone who has gone through what we have in the last month + a few days would be anything less than peeved.

I should have known when I was picking up the entire contents of my Christmas Tree(skirt, ornaments, EVERYTHING) from my dooryard in subzero windchill as the New Year arrived that it was going to suck. I had a premonition. I had a warning. And I brushed it away, when I should have taken it to heart and locked us all away and taken off for Katmandu.

As of this week, Emily is still on her heart monitor. The adhesive patches have torn her skin and the New Skin we were told to get to protect her skin, hurt her SO EFFING BADLY that she screamed for nearly an hour in the tub. What kind of "band aid" has 6.7% alcohol? My poor nephew was hospitalized for RSV right before the whole deal with Em happened and now my poor bro, Joe has Influenza A. The nasty one. We've been with them all at 2 birthday dinners this week, so tomorrow AM we have to head in to pick up Tamiflu for the whole crew. Thank God for insurance. Or we'd be looking at over $500. Which, thanks to a nice tax refund wouldn't ruin us right now, but that's gone MIA. So, AGAIN, thank God for insurance.

Jake(AKA Big Daddy) and I have always said that if it weren't for bad luck, we'd have none at all, but this is starting to just get a little ridiculous.

If only we could stop time...

This time eight years ago, I was moments away from meeting the guy that would make me a mom, the first time around. My son, the guy who saved my life, is 8 today.

Happy Birthday Trav! We love you...to the moon and back!

Just to clarify...

I DID NOT want for something to be wrong with my daughter, I was only trying to show that there was something wrong, enough for the second hospital to be quite freaked out by Em's presentation, but the first hospital sent us home.

Just because you tell Life that you've got it by the balls...

Doesn't mean life won't turn around and knock you on your ass.

The last 30 hours or so, Emily(lets just get it out there, OK. My youngest daughter is Emily) and I have been in and out of a couple hospitals, a cardiologists office for an emergency appt he drove from Portland for, and to see our Family Doc.

Yesterday, Emily thought she would be a Smurf for the say and be cyanotic. The first hospital, the one which claims its a Saint. Looked at her and sent us home. Later, at the Central Hospital... They ran EVERY TEST they could think of on her. Paged the Ped's Cardio and only let us go hom for 3.5 hours before we had to be back to see him. They did more tests on her this morning and she is now hooked up to a Holter Monitor(basically, a 24hr monitor/EKG thingamajig) so we can record her heart rate. She DOES have something wrong with her. Its called an SVT. SupraVentricular Tachycardia.

Also today, my bank called. The new checks we ordered. The ones I thought I had double checked the info on... Yeah, the ones that have the WRONG account number and I have 12 out there to be drawn on a non-account. I cried. On the phone. With the lady from the bank. Like.A.Baby.

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!

The last 5 months in review... And a plan

How do I put this nicely. The last 5 months have been CRAPTASTIC. I try really hard to not let anyone know how really shitty things are, how we're having a tough time, or whatever it is we're dealing with at the moment. But, I feel like getting it out of my head will help me create a tackle it list, in hopes of getting back on our feet and into a routine again.

I had pneumonia for a grand total of 5 months last year. I dealt with it at the beginning of the year and then again for the last few months of it. I know those that have had it will be sympathetic to the situation, but it fucking SUCKED. School with the kids still hasn't gotten completely caught up from it all and I HATE THAT. Some days the whole this is so overwhelming we barely get the basics done, let alone all the FUN learning I wish we could. So, my resolution of the week, is to get all of our "paper" work printed and organized. We will be learning about the solar system for the remainder of the school year and there is much to prepare. Along with a history unit that none of us can agree on. I know many will say that I should just pick it, I'm the mom and teacher. Well, that isn't how we work. We decide together. And that will be decided this week. Printables, manipulatives and project materials will be received and organized.

The house is still in shambles after being sick for so long. I'm ashamed of how filthy I have allowed it to become. There is no excuse and I WILL get my house in order. ASAP.

Basically, everything is completely out of control and it desperately needs to be brought back in and together. I have the month of Feb. to get it back. Thats it. I am the one who needs a schedule and I need to set myself up with one. I think we'll all benefit from it.

Thankfully, I have sought help with Buckfield's Biggest Loser, instead of trying to do it all myself as I normally would have.

This whole post is a really good example of how my brain is working right now. Its just a mess. If you read all this shit, you deserve a cookie!

Buckfield's Biggest Losers sign ups officially started!

We've finally got our act together and we're starting sign-ups for Buckfield's Biggest Loser.
Here's the link:

http://sites.google.com/site/bblclub/

I am looking for volunteers to help organize, let me know if you're interested!

Cue the Jaws Music...

We have a shark on our hands. I wish our CPU wasn't in the shop because I can't wait to show you these pics. Busy Bee was in the tub tonight and I usually give them a good once over every bath time. You know, to make sure nothing is broken, bruised, etc. So, what did I see tonight?

A second row of teeth starting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thankfully they are on the bottom, so we'll just give our dentist a call soon and see what they want to do. But, I'm thinking they'll pull them No big deal. Makes it easier for the tooth fairy, I suppose.

Tooting my own horn, cuz I can

Still not smoking. Totally saved over $200 so far between Big Daddy and I.

Thats right! To all the haters that said I couldn't do it cough*Everett*cough, BITE ME!

New Goings On

Been MIA due to a MAJOR Fibro Flare and what little energy I've had has been with the fam. In similar news though, Andrea and I have created a new blog chronicling our journey with Fibromyalgia because we've made a HUGE decision. We REFUSE to allow Fibro to make us less of a person or hold us back. We're hoping Fibro Foggies will keep up ahead of it. So stop by, won't you?!?!?

Heaven has gained a new angel!

Aunt G flew home tonight. She'll be missed terribly.

Catching Up

I arrived home on Monday. I'm still exhausted, still heartbroken, and still incredibly angry that this even had to happen.

I've had the same conversation with everyone who would listen lately, well, those it was appropriate to have it with... I just don't understand, and probably never will, why something like cancer has to exist. What on earth could someone have done that was so horrible, so vile, as to earn themselves this kind of pain. Now, I know my aunt, and my sister, and our dear family friend. I KNOW none of them have done something in which Karma would come knocking with cancer calling. So, why would something exist that causes such pain? Something I'll never understand...

I was VERY blessed to spend some unforgettable time with Aunt G. She smiled at me. She kissed me. She tried to be funny with me. She got pissed at me when I called her "gorgeous". And the next day, she fell asleep...

Its tough when you know that where you are, isn't where you should be. But, I missed this crew a whole lot. And, I left the other crew in good hands with C$.

Oh, and I'm still not smoking...

A tear filled phone call....

Heather is in Florida with no real signal for her laptop, so Im blogging for her (Andrea). I just got off the phone with her. First and foremost, she wants to thank everyone for all the thoughts and prayers that have been sent out to her, her aunt Gloria and the family.

She called me from the Hospice house. She said the house, the staff, the enviroment are all so beautiful and wonderful. Its sad that such a beautiful place is there for such an awful thing. Her Aunt Gloria is holding on. She is still able to recognize them every now and then and even has tried to make a few 'funnies'. Her breathing is very slow and labored, which leads them to believe that the time is nearing. Now, the time that is left is spent making her comfortable and showing her love and appreciation.

Again, Heather really wants you to know how much she appreciates everyones love and concern, prayers and thoughts.

She also wants to shout out another "Fuck You Cancer" and I second that motion!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I'm flying out tomorrow. Taking a trip I wish I didn't have to. Aunt G has been moved to Hospice Care where her family will come to say goodbye. The cancer has moved to her brain and they say she has only days left. The oncologists have declared her cancer the most aggressive they have ever seen, only a month before her diagnosis she had a clear mammogram and at diagnosis, quite a large tumor.

It all seems so surreal.

I ask for your prayers. Safe travel for all of the "K" Crew. There are quite of few of us headed to Fla. from New England. Its a mass exodus. I ask for prayers of comfort, less pain, and peace for my Aunt G. I ask for prayers for my Uncle. That he be comforted.

Thanks All. I'll try to pop in soon!

Oh, and cancer- FUCK YOU!

An official quitter.

Its been well over 24 hours since the last puff. I'm doing pretty good. I'm pretty much eating nonstop. But I told myself going in that I had a week to stuff my face, then I had to get a grip.

I'm also joining Buckfield's Biggest Loser. Its a weightloss challenge. The local gym is working on a group rate for us so with all the money saved not smoking, I'm going to join the gym. I can't gain 50lbs like I did last time I quit, thats why I started again.

But, I'm getting a lil ahead of myself. Its only day 2. And I'm only hanging on.

Tomorrow is the day...Err, today...

Its QUIT DAY!

No more stinky butts. No more cancer sticks. NO MORE!

I've had enough.

I know the first week is the hardest and I just have to get through it for this to be easier....

One day at a time.

Resolutions or something like that.

So, I don't usually make resolutions. Not because I don't like accomplishing things, but really because I usually just get super sidetracked and completely forget.

Sometimes though, things happen in life that make you reevaluate your current situation. Sometimes a resolution can be used to remind you what is really important.

This year, my resolution is to love stronger. To love bigger. To love without expectations. And to love completely. I will speak more kindly and yell less. I will not accept anything more than I am willing to give of myself. And I will TRY to quit smoking...again.

Happy New Year All!